YOU Choose YOU


When we are competing for a position, many times, we tend to compare our worst (weaknesses) to someone else's best (strengths). This places us in an unfair advantage, as it almost always sets us up for failure and disappointment. Many times, what we are comparing are the attributes listed on paper or the talents and abilities that we can visually see. What we tend to miss out on, however, are those incredible characteristics that are not as visible.

Let's go on a quick journey and walk in the shoes of someone who has been given the daunting task of searching the entire world for "the one;" Someone who not only is characterized by having the utmost qualifications required, but also encompasses a no-quit spirit, tremendous courage, and the tenacity of a weed. Although there are various methods that a person may choose in order to identify "the one" from among the crowd, which method actually helps to reveal the traits of the most qualified individual?

The most common and traditional method revolves around visible qualifications of talent and skill. This may involve filtering through piles of resumes; many mimicking one another as though they were carbon copies of one another. This method would likely entail a selection process with candidates who were selected based upon "genuine" experience, and summarized on a formal sheet of printed paper (resume), possibly even written by the likes of someone else. Following that method, there is also the process of inviting those "qualified" candidates for a very inquisitive interview, resulting in a high possibility of receiving canned responses, similar to that of a robotic device. And finally, from sheer desperation of needing to fill the opening, offering a position to a candidate who may or may not have the qualities being sought out, but resembling the best option out of the bunch.

As you read this, you may be wondering how is this the best method in order to find "the one"? If you are comparing yourself to someone else, what you are essentially doing is comparing the best of the worst or the worst of the best. Please STOP. This is not the way to win in anything, in the same way as this method doesn't actually help to reveal the potential within an individual. Instead, it is far more effective to take a step back and compare who you are today to who you were yesterday. This allows you the opportunity to develop into the very best version of yourself.

With that in mind, let's view another method of finding "the one". This one sends the candidate out on a journey, almost like a "test" or an"audition." This method aims to not only view talent and skill, but also reveal a candidate's character; therefore their true talents and abilities become much more enhanced. This method really brings out the uniqueness of the individual and what makes this person stand out from the crowd.

Although less popular, for it is not as measurable, more times than not, it demands of us to reveal our true selves. Both the ones we are aware of but hide deep within ourselves, and the ones we were completely unaware of as to their very existence. The seeds of greatness that are inside every one of us are just waiting for the moment to shine.

Through this method, we are called to dig deep and bring out the beauty from within, so that we can choose ourselves.

Let me explain in greater detail how this method works, as it is deep with many layers comprised of it. Take some of history's greatest heroes and successes- whether real or created in literature or film.

Many of these individuals, at best, resembled the average Joe.

They didn't necessarily have the best looks.

They didn't necessarily have a coveted physique.

They didn't necessarily display superior intelligence.

Nor did they necessarily win at much of anything.

Some didn't even trust themselves or know who they were.

To know their purpose was as much of a mystery to them as to those around them. Their faith was tested many times, if it even had any existence at all.

However, all of these individuals had several traits in common.

They all refused to quit, they had courage, and a conviction to keep on keeping on.

Even in my own journey, when I did't think I was experiencing any type of success, I can now look back and recall defining moments that brought out my authentic self from hiding. I will never forget the several block walk to my first interview with the glamorous Jessica McClintock showroom in New York City on a very frigid winter morning. My heart full of hope and my imagination running wild as to the limitless possibilities that this opportunity would provide for the start of my career.

I was 20 years old and yet still remained a child-like dreamer.

As I walked swiftly up the blocks to what I believed would be my future, I was abruptly interrupted. As I was crossing the street, my heel got caught in a New York City pothole and there I went flying, or rather less gracefully, falling onto my knees, ripping my corporate pantyhose and filling the gap with blood. I was momentarily embarrassed by the fall, however, the feeling subsided quickly as I had the realization of where I was.

For one, this was New York City, a place that was constantly hustling and bustling (especially on early mornings) with people who were rushing off to do what they have to do and were much too busy to notice. Two, I had fallen smack in the middle of a street, and in this city, taxi cab drivers were not very forgiving, even to helplessly fallen pedestrians in the middle of the street.

So I did what anyone would do.

I quickly got up and rushed over to the showroom building in hopes of buying some time so that I could salvage my look and still appear presentable.

I was so nervous!

I quickly ran to a bathroom and pulled off the torn-up pantyhose.

My right knee was bleeding quite a bit as I had taken a pretty solid fall on that pothole.

I wiped my knee with toilet paper and hurried back into the lobby to make it to the interview on time.

As I sat at a long white table in the beautiful Jessica McClintock showroom awaiting the interview that I believed would change my life and kick start my career, I felt an odd wetness on my right knee.

I quickly glanced below the table and noticed my knee has started to bleed again and the blood was running down my leg!

The horror!

To make matters worse, a woman had entered the showroom, signaling the interview was commencing. She began walking towards me, hand reaching out to shake mine.

Do I stand up? Do I remain seated and keep my embarrassment hidden?

I ended up choosing a middle of the road approach in which I half got up, knee still slightly hidden and shook the woman's hand in introduction.

The rest of the experience went quite uneventfully, however, I knew that I did not put my best foot forward, yes- pun intended! In a way, as I hid my leg under that table, without even realizing it, I hid a part of myself too; my true talents and abilities. As a result, what I really had to offer didn't have a chance to find its way above that table.

I left that day feeling quite devastated by how "cursed" I had been from that fall.

I even replayed several different versions of how that event could have taken place. What I lacked to acknowledge at the time was that there was no curse that had taken place, but rather a blessing!

You see, in a superficial way, through a superficial experience, I had two choices laid out for me. One choice was to give up, quit, and run away. The other was to get back up and go!

I chose the second and although a week later, I received the unwelcoming phone call of rejection, I realized that I didn't need that job after all.

For I had acquired a new trait that I now could add to my resume.

I had developed a character I didn't even know was a part of me.

I was unwavering by my circumstance, and willing to press on when most would not.

I had passed the test.

The test that brought out my true character to the surface.

The one I didn't know at the time existed and one that I welcomed as a part of me because of the newfound confidence it offered.

I decided to choose myself. After that experience, I had a boldness and conviction I had never had before. I seized every opportunity and landed an even better position than I could have dreamed. Moral of the story- You choose You! Find that inner strength, that courage and do not be afraid to be tested! Your true self will be revealed and with this newfound confidence and inspiration, you will accomplish great things!